It is 8 o’clock, Monday morning and my dear students (by the way, the word “Scheißblagen” is not part of my vocabulary) are supposed to sit in room 05 waiting for me. Unfortunately, it’s the other way round. One third of the course is not there (see beginning of the text) and I am waiting for them. Those who come too late have got nice excuses like “It wasn’t my fault – I missed the bus” or “I don’t have an alarm clock” and most of them really look like as if their excuses were true. As some of the girls (especially one) haven’t had time to put on their make up, they have to use the English lessons for it. Am I right, Meena? Some of the boys try to waste time by feigning interest in what I did at the weekend. Others pretend to be confused about the procedure at the “Abitur” – just to spend some minutes with other things as long as they are not English. Then some girls come up to me asking if they could have a part of the English lesson in order to organize a meeting concerning the “Abiball”. After some minutes when everyone realizes that tricks no longer work we come to the first crucial point of any lesson – checking the homework. I cannot really remember any lesson when each student could present what he/she was supposed to do. I think even winning the jackpot in a lottery is much more probable than that. Again – lots of excuses which I mostly ignore. The second crucial point has come when I look for volunteers who’d like to present their homework. I have got an enormous range of choice , usually between 2 and 3 (of 22 students). You can notice a deep relief that there are at least some who put up their fingers. Of course, this relief must be discussed intensively and extensively with one’s neighbours. When we start to talk about the text we currently deal with the first students fall asleep so that I have to wake them up with the help of my lovely voice (by the way, “Gekreische” is not the correct term for this). Raising the students’ attention is not that difficult but unfortunately necessary now and again so I have to employ various vocal means which the students refer to as ‘torture’ (by the way, not the correct term for such a wonderful voice). After a phase of really intensive working on the text which mostly reconciles me for all the other phases mentioned above, we all look forward to the end of the lesson. The students are glad that they survived it without working too hard. I am glad that I survived it without losing my patience and, of course, my voice. You’ll wonder why this report is in English – well it is a revenge for all those tricks and excuses that really worked. He laughs best who laughs last – he, he! Mrs. Müllers, 12/02/06